Does my son really want to be a paleontologist or does his mom watch too much Friends?


I had the hardest time thinking of a topic for this week’s column. I sat at my desk and stared at a blank screen forever. I guess nothing really ticked me off last week, or at least not enough to write more than a Facebook post about it, which is a good thing unless you’re a writer with no fodder. But then I thought of something funny that William told someone.

We were on our way home from Lawton after musical rehearsals one night and I had my friend Marcy with me and another of her students, who was also performing on Ft. Sill, and Aiden piped up from the back seat and announced out of nowhere that he wants to be a paleontologist when he grows up. I wanted to know if he knew what a paleontologist was or if he’d just heard the word on my favorite TV show “Friends.”

I said, “What’s a paleontologist, Aiden?”

He thought real hard and said he forgot.

Without missing a beat I said it’s where you make people call you doctor.

And then I said, “Please, Ross, this is a hospital! That actually means something here!”

William looked at Abby and said,”Excuse my mom. Whenever she speaks, you should just assume it’s a “Friends” reference.”

Thankfully Abby and Marcy both like the show and don’t think I’m a weirdo for all of the “Friends” quotes I throw at them in every conversation. And they agreed to play Scene It? Friends edition with me, since I can’t get my family to play with me because “it’s not fair! You answer everyone’s questions!”

Last week William called his brothers crap bags so naturally I did a dramatic reenactment of the scene where Phoebe tells Mike she changed her name to Princess Consuela Banana Hammock when she was supposed to change it to Phoebe Hannigan. She tells him that her new name is “fun, it’s different, no one else has a name like it,” to which he replies that he will then be changing his name to Crap Bag.

Mike: Alright, then I’m gonna change my name.

Phoebe: Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to?

Mike: Crap Bag.

Phoebe: Mike Crap Bag?

Mike: No, no Mike, just Crap Bag. First name Crap, last name Bag.

Phoebe: You’re not serious, right?

Mike: Yeah, I’m serious. It’s fun, it’s different and no one else has a name like that!

Phoebe: Well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.

Mike: I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.

Phoebe: And I love Crap.

Mike: After you, Miss Banana Hammock.

Phoebe: Thank you, Mr. Bag.

Much to my family’s chagrin I could probably do one-woman productions of most of the episodes, and I do mini scenes or at the very least, use quotes during conversations, daily.

Just ask my friends and family.

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Reach Kathleen Guill at 580-379-0588, ext. 2602.

Reach Kathleen Guill at 580-379-0588, ext. 2602.

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