Pumping gas is now legal in parts of Oregon


Pumping gas is now legal in parts of Oregon. Yes, that was one of the first national headlines of 2018.

I never knew that there are states where it was illegal to pump your own gas. I think we’re all aware of that now that Oregon has gone viral when they abolished that law in certain rural areas. People are losing their minds over the thought of having to learn how to pump their own gas.

I think what garnered the most attention wasn’t the fact that the law exists, but the comments on the news story where people actually posted that they were going to die or their children were going to be mauled by transients. Just how dangerous is Oregon? You don’t see that side on the vacation commercials.

“Oregon — where the grass is green and the transients steal children while you’re pumping your own gas. Book your vacation now!”

Many memes have come out of the abolishment of this law and some are saying that those of us who think these are hilarious are mocking a whole state of people. To those people I say, grow a funny bone. Even native Oregonians are making jokes about this. It is pretty hilarious that this is a thing in 2018. Some of the funniest comments came from people who visited Oregon and didn’t know the law and said gas attendants came running at them waving their arms like they’d just murdered someone.

Other comments included these gems:

“Apparently most people in Oregon assume that in order to pump gas you must first remove all people from the vehicle and stand in the open while thugs attack from all angles, all while being sprayed with gas.” To which this person responded with, “I know! Where do you live that you have to fight off this army of transient undead every time you get out of the car?”

Another poster commented a picture of a burning city with the caption, “Day two of Oregonians pumping their own gas.”

And another, “I’m in Colorado where we are forced to pump our own gas. Because I’m worried about my children being left in the car while I stand outside of it in my skirt, I just pay the transients to pump it for me. This way we’re all safe and the transients are distracted from bothering those who are pumping their own gas.” This one was in response to someone saying that pumping her own gas would result in a transient stealing her child.

Perhaps my favorite comment on the viral thread, “In a world where all the gas station attendants have vanished from the entire state of Oregon, a community of Oregonians must set aside their differences and come together for the sake of survival. In a new world full of vagrants… pungent smells, and worst of all… the crushing weight of adult responsibility; How will these hearty people make it through the harsh winter with clothes on their backs and gas in their tanks? This winter, coming to a theater near you: Oregon Trail: The Gas Wars.” And a reply, “The state is going to make national news when the family of someone in a minivan who had to pump their own gas dies of dysentery.”

Although many of the comments were made in jest, there were quite a lot of people who were serious when they said they didn’t know how to pump gas, they were going to get to work reeking of gas fumes or their children would freeze to death or get kidnapped by transients standing 40 feet away from the vehicle while the parent pumped gas.

I guess my favorite thing about this whole Oregon gas debacle is that it’s finally not Oklahoma making national headlines.

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